Sasuke's FB Shenanigans
by Aquarian Charm
Summary: Sasuke has left the village but he is still active on Facebook.(A Narutoverse where there is Facebook.)
1. Chapter 1

_**Sasuke's Fb Shenanigans**_

A/N: I really needed to write it to have some fun. It will be mostly describing Naruto's main events but on Fb and some other stuff

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto or the site mentioned.

.

 _ **Summary:** Sasuke has left the village but he is still active on Fb.(A Narutoverse where there is Fb)_

Rated T for language.

Let's get on with the story.

* * *

"You will be staying here from now on, Sasuke san." Kabuto said while opening the door wide open for Sasuke to see an average dimly lit room for a teenager. The room has a bed in the center with white sheets, an attached bathroom and a wardrobe at the opposite side of the door. On the left side of the bed, there was study table with drawers and a chair. What caught Sasuke's eye was an old fashioned computer at the top of the table.

Kabuto left leaving Sasuke alone in the room. The raven haired teen was adorning a white kimino since his signature dark blue shirt with Uchiha symbol on the back and white shorts were ruined because of his whole fiasco with Naruto in the valley of the end. Ugh, that persistent dobe.

Sasuke was about to hit the sack and sleep off his tiredness but then the computer caught his eye from the corner of his eye and like every normal person there on the face of the world, he thought hey, why don't I check my Fb first.

He flopped into the chair, turned on the computer and opened his fb with email hiddenleafavenger.1 He and his class fellows made an account after they became genin officially since then they are

He and his class fellows made an account after they became genin officially since then they are at it like bunnies in heat. Wait, what?

He entered his password MustKIllItachi

Uchiha Sasuke became online and saw that his homepage was bombarded with 8000 notifications, 500 friend requests that he never responded to and 3000 messages. He frowned and thought something was up.

He scrolled down and saw the hidden leaf population going off on FB like crazy because apparently, the news of his leaving the village had spread like wildfire.

He scrolled down, saw hashtag of his name on almost all posts. His idiotic friends did not have the decency to not tag him but they had. The statuses were rather amusing today. Usually the statuses were about weather, food, and fangirls stalking accomplishments like

Ahh, the weather is so hot and so am I.

Eating ramen with three others. (This status is usually posted ten times a day by dobe)

Uchiha Sasuke spotted under the tree, taking nap. Omg he was looking so cute. I can't wait to be his wifus 3

Remembering those statuses made him want to gag.

He spotted the post of Hatake Kakashi in which he was tagged.

 **Hatake Kakashi**

Uchiha Sasuke has officially left the hidden leaf village without a word and not only that, he misused the technique taught by me by using on his comrade. Sasuke I am really disappointed.

#comeback

 **3k likes, 700 comments, 2k shares**

I had the urge to roll my eyes. He is always so dramatic on fb like posting about how his students are so bright having learned this and that.

I narrowed my eyes when I saw that some nobody has posted a picture of the valley of end where Naruto and I fought with the hashtag of destroyed natural scenery. Is White Zetsu even a name? _Hn, probably a fake id_.

 _But how the hell did he get that Picture?_

I didn't dwell on it much because I stumbled upon the status uploaded by Sakura.

 **Haruno Sakura**

He left me on a fucking bench. That son of a bitch. Gentleman my ass. Come back and I will smash your bones. No wait I mean Sasuke kun please #come back.

P.S I meant every single word on that night.

 **2k likes, 500 comments, 300 shares**

Comments:

 **Rock lee:** umm Sakura chan what do you mean by on the bench and on that night. My youthful mind is so confused right now.

I had an urge to write Lol In reply to Lee but decided against it. Sakura would handle him herself.

Sakura is just her real self on Fb. Often very aggressive and violent. She doesn't even pretend to me nice sometimes like right now. I find this amusing. I have a hunch that someday she will drop her outer fake personality and will act like her real self all the time and her inner might die.

I read her status again and felt somewhat guilty. What if she was molested or someone had kidnapped her. I could only hope she was alright. Note to self, be rude to Sakura and ignore her so she becomes strong. That technique has always worked.

I scrolled down and found a status of Shino.

 **Aburame Shino**

I am disappointed I couldn't go on Sasuke recruitment mission otherwise I would surely have bugged him back to konoha.

#comeback

I suppressed a chill. Shino's bugs were just nasty and a person as neat freak as himself, the mere thought of bugs made him in a 10 feet radius of him wants him to go and fetch a lethal insecticide.

I came across Shikamaru's post.

 **Nara Shikamaru**

I feel like a failure after failing my first mission as a chunin leader.

-Akimichi Chouji, Hyuga Neji, Izuka Kiba, Uzumaki Naruto and Rock Lee, forgive me for my incompetence as a leader and get well soon.

 **5K likes, 300 comments, 2k shares**

Damn Shikamaru is popular, I thought and wait am I reading it right or is that chunin he has written.

I felt a minor surge of jealousy tingle my body. I am so going to start my training from tomorrow.

I yawned as I scrolled down. The fangirls are seriously using this comeback hashtag in the wrong way and it's irritating. Speaking of irritating, I remember I haven't seen Dobe here spreading his stupidity and overloading my notifications with obscenities and messages to come back like a lot of people are doing right now. Do I even know these people?

Then I smirked thinking he might be dozing off in the hospital covered in bandages from head to toe but I remembered I was also covered in bandages all over and frowned. Now my head was pounding, I decided to finally go to sleep but not before updating my status.

 **Uchiha Sasuke**

I officially cut down ties with hidden leaf and start my apprenticeship under Sannin Orochimaru.

* * *

A/N: Okay everyone. This is it for now. I hope you like it.

This fic is completely the result of my boredom. It came to me when I was stressing like hell about exams and guess what I was doing. Writing the whole plot for this fic. I couldn't have written it even if I had tried.

To think that the imagination works this way. When I am relaxed and having fun, I get writer's block most of the time and no new ideas come. Okay, enough of my philosophies.

So what do you think? Should I continue? More importantly, do you find it funny? Well, I do.

I really need your honest opinion to make me want to convert the plot bunnies in my head into this fanfic.

I guess you'd enjoy Sasuke fb shenanigan's with me.


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks for the feedback for the last chapter. I am glad that you find it funny and without ooc-ness.

Also thanks to those who followed and favorited. That really made me happy.

Sorry for the delay though. I will post the next chapter soon to make up for it. :)

Enjoy.

* * *

 _ **Sasuke Fb Shenanigans**_

The next few days at Orochimaru's hideout passed like a blur. Sasuke started his training vigorously _._

 _I would kill Itachi. I had to get stronger at all costs._ The raven haired teen trained non-stop from dawn to dusk, passing out from exhaustion at night and resuming the same cycle in the morning.

Sasuke paid no attention either to his surrounding or the deranged people roaming around him. He didn't even check his Fb. _Now that was something to brag about_ _._ _  
_  
It was until kabuto stressed- "Hey Sasuke! Confirm Orochimaru sama's and my friend requests and please move out of "The Hidden leaf group" and become a member of the sound group- that he found himself sitting again in front of that old fashioned computer.

Hidden leaf avenger.1  
Password: MustKillItachi

Sasuke was taken aback to see his newsfeed literally flooding.

It looks like his last status has gotten a lot of people's panties in a bunch.

Sasuke cursed under his breath while scrolling down. Apparently the dobe was up and running. He could tell that by his status or rather statuses.

.

.

.

 **Uzumaki Naruto**

Just watch it teme, I will bring you back. #BringUchihaBack

 **5k likes, 600 comments, 200 shares**

.

.

.

 **Uzumaki Naruto**

I won't let my friend die by the hands of a slithering snake. #BringUchihaBack

 **2k likes, 700 comments, 200 shares**

Sasuke rolled his eyes. Who was dying here? Not him for sure. Someone needs to get that knucklehead's facts straight.

Sasuke fingers itched to type a reply and be that one person but he had already decided that he would not engage with his old friends anymore _. Hn, you will see dobe!_

Sasuke kept reading.

.

.

.

 **Uzumaki Naruto**

How can the one that can't even bring his friend back become a Hokage? #BringUchihaBack

 **2k likes, 700 comments, 200 shares**

.

.

.

 **Uzumaki Naruto**

SASUKEEEEEEEEEEEE~

 **100 likes, 70 comments**

 _Ouch_ Sasuke touched his ear, he could literally hear Naruto shouting his name after reading this. Naruto statuses were always intense, for the lack and better word, persistent and overflowing just like him.

When he was complaining to the third Hokage for not giving him practical missions he would complain to his heart content, uploading status after he had been given a free ramen for being a regular customer at Ichiruka's, he would go all night squealing about it.

They were the words he speaks pasted directly. That's why sometimes it was easy to imagine him voicing the words while reading his status

The raven haired avenger caught the glimpse of 10000 messages from the corner of my eye.

Sasuke knew most of them belonged to his blond friend. Nobody could be a pest like him.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

I searched for Orochimaru and Kabuto and added them. After that I opened "The Hidden Leaf Village" group and left it while grumbling. It was such a drag but considering the status I posted last time it was necessary.

I searched for "the Hidden Sound Group". From the looks of the DP's of the people in that group I could tell that they were all psychos and freaks, but I still joined it for the sake of the appearances.

I hung around that sound group bored to death, scrolling through the posts that were usually about the number of prisoners in the bases, some pictures of cursed marks beasts, some of the Orochimaru's henchmen highlighting his good qualities. Sound Karin was on the top the list for that. _Such a washout group._

I was already missing the hidden leaf group where we used to make plans for the summer festival and picnics. The Hokage posting the upcoming missions, the clan heads gloating about their superiority, The sensei's fighting over their teaching abilities and the fangirls getting an ample opportunity to hit a lot of hot guys at the same time.

While roaming around aimlessly in sound group, I thought I saw Kabuto or rather pictures of Kabuto.

Pictures of Kabuto, posing while making medicines?

I laughed a good laugh after watching this. So that's why he take so much time to concoct a single dose. I remember seeing a camera with stand laying around near Kabuto most of the time.

I frowned. Kabuto antics could give away their location someday.

Suddenly an idea popped into my mind. If Orochimaru- an S rated criminal was on FB then there are 90 percent chances that… that

I held my breath as I typed the name in the search box.

Results found:

I couldn't believe my eyes

There he was

 **Uchiha Itachi**

No way. He was always there and I didn't know. I could have sent him death threat all the time if I knew.

I felt my blood boil. I clicked on the name in the blink of an eye. I was just doing this for informational purposes anyway. His timelines opened and I fully prepared myself for some snooping, only to find that he had hidden his everything.

What they hell. What kind of celebrity puts privacy on?

I was livid but then I saw likes on his cover photo. A smirk formed on my face.

Uchiha Sasuke was not above stalking when it came to Fb.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

After some time of stalking Sasuke found himself back on his homepage.

During his roaming, he stumbled upon a closed group named Akatsuki but when he discovered a person named Uchiha Tobi Madara, he had had enough. Everyone knew he and Itachi were the last two Uchihas still some people had to go and use his clan name

He checked the response to his last status.

 _ **Uchiha Sasuke**_

 _I officially cut down ties with hidden leaf and start my apprenticeship under Sannin Orochimaru_

 **Orochimaru, kabuto and seventy others like it, 50k comments and 20k shares.** **  
**

Comments:

Nara Shikamaru: How troublesome

Hatake Kakashi: Did he just write that?

Tsunade Senju: Yes he did.

Haruno Sakura: You cannot cut down ties by just saying so.

Inuzuka Kiba: Hey Sasuke, Glad to see that you are alive.

Fangirl No. 1: Sweetie, send your address and phone number.

Fangirl no. 2: Is the weather hot over there too.

Kabuto: Who would want to stay in hidden leaf anyway?

The list went on and on and escalated into a full-fledged fight between leaf and sound

It was almost midnight by now and I decided to turn it off.

I got a glimpse of Orochimaru's Status.

My eyes popped out of sockets when I saw what he has written.

.

.

 **Orochimaru:**

Sssasssuke has come to my place of his own will. Sssoon his body will be mine. Hahahahahahah~

 **10k Likes, 500 comments, 20k shares**

.

.

.

Sasuke sat there stunned for a few minutes then he saw red.

Why him, can't he tell how misleading his words are?

 _I will kill him one day for this. I will kill him._

Sasuke was about to write that but then he smirked. It was the task for some other day. He would definitely post it after two and a half years.

* * *

A/N: This is it for now.

More characters will appear later according to manga's sequence.

This chapter was more of a building stone for next chapters.

Do share what you think before leaving and if you have any requests let me know. I would love to fit them in the story.

Bye.

 **Next up: Temeeeee how dare you unfriend me?**


	3. Chapter 3

**Sasuke Fb shenanigans**

 **.**

 **.**

 **.**

* * *

The moments of leisure like these were rare. When Orochimaru and Kabuto would leave for god knows what leaving him to do whatever he likes on their hidden base. And while Sasuke should be turning this base upside down in search of weaknesses of Orochimaru or meditating under the Waterfall to contemplate the best course of action to kill Itachi, he found himself in front of his computer, casually hopping from one profile to another of his class fellows of the academy.

Now he was on the profile of Sakura reading her latest Status. I had been six months and he felt like the symptoms of homesickness were finally getting to him.

 **Sakura Haruno:**

The fifth Hokage took me as her disciple shanarooo.

I will try my hardest to be the best medic nin I can.

P.S: Now I would be able to walk with them instead of watching their backs.

 ** _5k likes, 2k comments, 1k shares_**

Sasuke was astonished to read this but then he chuckled.

 _So she will become a medic-nin huh and the one trained by the Hokage herself for that one. Good for her. Maybe the Hokage would teach her a defensive move or two so that she could take care of herself._

He read her last line again and shook his head. He had read something like that after their whole fiasco in the forest of death, for all he knew, it meant that her hair was not going to get longer anytime soon.

Sasuke would have clicked like on it but he knew it would cause controversy if a rouge nin like him liked her post.

The Hokage might change her mind to train her and not to mention Kabuto hot on his heel all the time to get him to unlike it for the sake of stupid public image.

He scrolled down to read the comments.

 **Ino Yamanaka:** No way forehead, how did you managed to get Hokage to train you?

 **Rock Lee:** I guess by bribing her with Sake.

 **Tsunade Senju:** Ino and Lee, in my office, RIGHT NOW.

The list was long but he quit it when he got notification of Naruto posting something on his timeline.

 _ **Naruto Uzumaki to Uchiha Sasuke**_

Teme how dare you unfriend me!

30 secs ago

That dobe, Sasuke sighed but replied to his message nonetheless.

 **Sasuke Uchiha:** It's because of your stupid status that I still consider you as a friend now fuck off of my timeline.

2 secs ago

 **Naruto Uzumaki:** Accept my friend request temeeeeeeeeeeee~

1 sec ago.

Sasuke scoffed but left him at that. He didn't even remember why he went through the trouble to unfriend him.

.

Flashback~

 **Two days ago.**

Sasuke was really pissed off at Orochimaru for the screaming of his test subject that were disrupting his power sleep and when he came here to escape from reality there was Naruto already here to piss him off.

He even had the audacity to post on his timeline.

 _ **Uzumaki Naruto to Uchiha Sasuke**_

 _We will always be friends. No matter what. Believe it._

Sasuke eye twitched. He was sleep deprived and tired. All he wanted was some distraction from his real life but so far he was having no luck. He was starting to believe that he was cursed.

 **Uchiha Sasuke:** WE ARE NOT!

Sasuke has typed and press 'send' before he could comprehend what he was doing.

Now since the damage was done. Sasuke thought he should type to his heart content.

 **Uchiha Sasuke:** Hey dobe, remember I tried to kill you. Chidori to the heart, does that ring a bell?

Sasuke typed and smirked, he liked winning arguments especially one on Fb.

Now that was a good distraction.

He silently hoped Kakashi was not here loafing around on Fb. He didn't want him to spam his timeline with the history of Chidori.

Naruto reply came in a beat. Sasuke couldn't fathom how the hell was Dobe active on fb all the time?

Maybe he had appointed one of his shadow clones for that?

 **Naruto Uzumaki:** Hey, I broke your arm after that remember and kicked you across the valley. Anyways whatever you say we are friends. If you really didn't want me to be your friend you would have unfriended me by now.

Sasuke gaped for a solid minute at that.

Then he winced. His ego sustained a deep blow after reading this.

He remembered that that stupid power of Naruto. He was about to retaliate with what he did after that. Soon that comment section was about to be escalated into the full-fledged description of fight they had in the valley of end and may be later into a hypothetical fight (where they would type out the names of their attacks) but then Sasuke got a brilliant idea.

He sped to his friend list smirking all the way.

Searched Naruto name.

The result came up.

 **Uzumaki Naruto**

 _Studied at Konoha ninja academy._

 _Works as a ninja (genin)_

Sasuke was smirking on the outside but on the inside, he was laughing like a maniac as he clicked on unfriend.

Oh, now I remember. Sasuke thought as he left to eat something.

* * *

The next time Sasuke opened his Fb was after one hour.

He saw that he had got fifty friend requests.

He opened it since he was ought to add sound nins who were capable of being added to his new team later.

 **Respond to your friend requests**

 _Ramen king_

 _Orange Hokage_

 _Splendid ninja_

 _Teme's hater_

 _Lord Sixth_

 _Not Naruto_

 _Unpredictable blonde_

Sasuke rolled his eyes.

 _Could he try to be not so obvious?_

He scrolled down, and felt like his eyes would roll themselves into the other dimension if he rolled them anymore at the fancy names dobe made up.

Then there were some people from here in the hideout.

 _Test subject No.4575_

 _Test subject No.6776_

 _Test subject No.8578_

Sasuke cringed as he clicked decline after decline.

How the hell the test subjects even got access to fb.

AND WHY THE HELL DO THEY EVEN HAVE FB?

The last one was.

 _Madara Tobi Uchiha_

Sasuke pulled the wire of the computer out of the socket. He had have enough with this drama. The hell is wrong with that man wanting to be his friend. Like hell, he was going to add an imposter

He was the last Uchiha dammit.

Sasuke left to train to fend off his irritation. Nothing good was happening to him nowadays.

He was getting requests from a bunch of creeps who might not have their intestines intact and some Uchiha wannabes.

Gone were the days when the shinobi of the elite clan from all five great nation pleaded him to add them.

But then Sasuke remembered something and his mood lighten up.

Naruto would have blown a fuse after finding out that all of his fancy friend requests were declined.

.

00o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

The clouds, the mountain top and him. He could live all his life by this combination if he had a choice. The sound of grass rustling beside him with the wind and clouds moving steadily above him were lulling him to sleep.

The serenity provided by nature was so overwhelming. He thought he could just drown in the silence and peace.

But the moments of peace were short.

"SHIKAMARUUUU"

The heir of Nara clan muttered curses under his breath and sat up from his relaxed lying pose. He saw an orange and yellow approaching him from the distance.

' _There goes my peace'_

Shikamaru yawned as he watched Naruto approached him.

"The teme is" Naruto said trying to catch his breath

"The bastard won't"

''That ass"

"I tried every …thing"

"Naruto, why don't you catch your breath first and speak later." Shikamaru said but the wheels of his mind had already started to spin. He put out the notebook computer from his backpack that his father handed him down.

The people the work in the Intel division got their hands on latest technology first.

He opened the Fb and opened Sasuke's profile in a beat because the only way Naruto could have any chance at conversation with Sasuke was here.

He found the post with the rift.

"He has unfriended you hasn't he?" Shikamaru stated, matter of factly.

Naruto who was sober by now and peeking over the lazy ninja's shoulder to watch him scroll, nodded.

Shikamaru sighed and shook his head.

"I don't know what's his problem. I mean how the hell he even got that idea."

"I can guess" Shikamaru muttered while eyeing Naruto's oh-so-tempting-invitation-kind-of comment.

"Have you tried with fake id's?"

"Yes I have" Naruto screeched. "So many of them but none of them worked."

"Let me guess, did any of them included the ramen or Hokage, or orange?"

Shikamaru asked already knowing the answer.

Naruto watched him inquisitively.

"Ye..ss and what of it?"

Shikamaru just shook his head.

"It's going to be so troublesome."

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

"There done." Sasuke watched his new cover photo appreciatively. It was the landscape with trees marked with random targets where the kunai thrown by him hit the bull's eye in all of them.

He saw that Kabuto had uploaded a status recently.

 **Kabuto Yakushi:**

Kabuto Yakushi was with Orochimaru at an inn in the land of tea.

Photo

 **1k likes, 500 comments, 200 shares.**

That kabuto, did he just posted Orochimaru's and his picture out here on the web. There were the most wanted criminals for heaven's sake.

 _If I ever got into trouble because of his statuses then I will kill him._ Sasuke was thinking about smashing Kabuto's camera but then he saw that he got a friend request.

Hn, probably dobe again! Let's see what he came up with this time. Sasuke chuckled.

Sasuke knew that the dobe would have gotten help from someone for sure this time but he would see right through them all.

He clicked on the icon preparing himself for some good laugh.

But that didn't happen.

 _ **Uchiha Itachi**_ has sent you a friend request.

Sasuke became stunned for a good minute.

Itachi?

Itachi?

He thought incredulously. He felt his blood boiling and going into his eyes. His Sharingan surfaced to make sure it was real.

Itachi?

 _Why did he send me a friend request? Is it his trick?_

 _He wants to spy on me I know._

 _No way the hell am I going to accept his request._ Sasuke thought smirking.

He was about to press decline but then another thought crossed his mind.

 _Wait, he knew I won't accept it. It's too predictable. He is probably expecting me to decline it._

Sasuke gave in to the urge to smirk maniacally.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

 **Uchiha Sasuke has confirmed your request.**

"Holy shit! Shikamaru you are the best. Your idea actually worked. I thought he would never accept it. He probably didn't even thought that it was us considering how fast he accepted."

Yawn. "So troublesome, it's complicated Naruto but you might have heard that saying to keep your friend close but you enemies closer."

"So he added him, I mean me because of that."

"Nah, It was his ego-thinking."

Naruto just watched him dumbfounded.

"For future reference Naruto once you change back your name, stay away from Sasuke's timeline. Next time it won't work." Shikamaru advised him sternly while eyeing the list of likes on one of Naruto enthusiastic posts.

"Okay fine. I am leaving for training with Pervy Sage anyways, I don't think I would have time for that." Naruto said before skipping off.

Shikamaru watched Naruto zooming off and then to his post that real Uchiha Itachi had liked, one about bringing Sasuke back.

"What a drag." Shikamaru said as he logged out.

* * *

A/N: Finally, it's done.

I hope you enjoyed it. I couldn't help but to add a little bit of Shikamaru, after watching Boruto and Shikadai, I remembered how cool Naruto's and Shikamaru's Interaction was.

Thanks to all the awesome readers, who followed, favorited and reviewed the last chapter. It makes me happy and keeps me motivated to write next chapter.

I also want to apologize for the delay, apparently, my professors thought it was a good idea to shorten the deadlines to submit our final projects. The last two weeks were like hell.

The good news is I am done now and I am already halfway through the next chapter.

I will post it once I get atleast **5 reviews** for this chapter. I know I am being ...(ummm I don't know). But you have no idea how much your **words** mean to me and I really need them.

So R&R.

Bye :)


End file.
